The Role I Play in the Family, As a Live-In Au Pair

     I thought this week I would explain a typical day for me, and my experience as being an authority figure for the kids I watch.

     I try to get up to see the kids every morning; even if it’s just in passing on their way to school (Cecile usually takes them to school). Then after having breakfast I will do homework, catch up on emails, or read the news. Then I will either go to my French classes or meet up with other au pairs depending on the day.

     I pick up the kids after school on most days. I pack them a snack and take the Metro. It’s tricky because the kids schools are on opposite sides of the Metro and at least a 10 minute walk from each other, but they only get out 5 minutes apart. Daniel’s school won’t let the kids leave the area until the parents (or au pairs) are there to pick them up. Aimée’s school lets them leave. Here is the tricky part. Daniel’s school gets out first. So I can either choose to get Daniel first and let Aimée wait on a busy street by herself, or I can get Aimée first and let the teachers watch Daniel for longer. As soon as I have them both I can breathe a little easier.

     The kids play in the park for close to an hour. I talk with the other au pairs, or I practice my French. When we get home I fix the kids a plate of fruit of snacks, and we work on homework.

      I play with them during the day and help the kids with showers before dinner.

     Cecile is very particular that they get a balanced diet. They are not allowed to have fizzy drinks (unless it’s a special occasion), and they always get a piece of fruit with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I feel like I'm living with a super mom. It helps that she doesn't work, but I like that she uses all of her time on her family. She is at P.I.A Meeting (like the PTA meetings). She is running kids around. Spending hours cooking delicious meals, and she never has the TV on while she is working. I have learned so much from her about cleaning, food, and educating children.

     There is something interesting I thought I would share. Cecile was telling me that Aimée is considered heavy set for her age and Daniel is average. I find this insane since Aimée is not heavy at all. She looks average to me and Daniel looks underweight. Thank goodness Cecile agrees, but she still is cautious with Aimée's diet. She won't tell Aimée because she thinks that negativity about her body is mentally poisonous. She says that she wants to teach Aimée good eating habits so her eating doesn't get out of control while she is young. I only give them what Cecile tells me to give them. Cecile still lets them have sweets occasionally, the biscuits we take for after school snacks have chocolate on them, and if we go out to eat they can order a desert. Cecile has a really good system. I don't want to mess that up and give them bad eating habits. Especially since clearly mine aren't the best.  

     The first time that I have ever needed to put Aimée in timeout is story worth sharing, and it talks about the relationship I am developing with the kids. We were in the kitchen drawing Pokémon, Aimée was drawing something for Daniel, and when she asked for his opinion and it took him too long to respond she became very mad and threw her paper and pencils on the ground. She thought that he didn't like her drawing. I told her that she couldn't act that way and she needed to pick up her things. She responded by storming out of the room. She does this quite a bit when she gets mad, and I wasn't going to take it this time. So I ignored her, and every time she came stomping into the kitchen (to get my attention), I calmly asked her to pick up her things then I would help her. She would get mad and stomp back out of the room. Her attitude got worse and worse, and she was treating me worse and worse.

     She wasn't being respectful. I got tired of it and told her she was in a time out. I don't think I have ever been so firm with her. After the time was up I went in and had her explain why she needed to have a time out. Then told her that if she can respect me and do as I ask, I am happy to help her and give her more freedom to do the things she would like to do. The only problem was that Daniel wanted to come in and talk to me while I was talking to Aimée. I told him several times that he needed to go back to the kitchen and wait there. After three times of not following my directions I put him in a time out too. I couldn't very well put Aimée in a time out and not put Daniel in a time out. Plus Daniel does this all the time. Then after talking to Aimée I did the same thing with Daniel.

     It was incredible the change she was the rest of the day. I went in the kitchen to find both kids playing nicely together all of Aimée's things were picked up and put away and they were being very respectful with everything I was saying to them. It was something I needed to do with them. They had become too used to me and have been testing my limits on what they can get away with. Aimée told me that I was her favorite Nanny.

     It’s tricky being an Au Pair. I’m a part of the family, but at the same time I am their employee. Imagine living with your boss. I have been very lucky to have such a great family who respects me and my privacy. I do my best to do my job while also giving them their privacy and family time. There are many au pairs who struggle with their families in this area. I am grateful for all I’m learning and all I’m experiencing while living this way.